{"id":1104,"date":"2016-03-10T23:38:51","date_gmt":"2016-03-10T23:38:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/192.241.231.59\/?p=1104"},"modified":"2016-03-11T00:35:40","modified_gmt":"2016-03-11T00:35:40","slug":"high-heels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vosvado.com\/high-heels","title":{"rendered":"How to Keep Your High Heels from Killing You\u2026Literally!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2666 READING TIME: 5 min, 36 sec<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Forget about democrat vs. republican.<\/p>\n

Forget about paleo vs. vegan.<\/p>\n

The REAL divisive topic\u2014the one that will have people at each other\u2019s throats\u2014is this: the woman\u2019s high-heeled shoe.<\/p>\n

One camp says they are absolutely required for a woman to be considered well-dressed. Appropriate. Grown-up. The other camp? Well, they think heels are a symbol of all that is unholy and unhealthy in a patriarchal society.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve been reading my material for any length of time, you can guess which camp I\u2019m in. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

But look, I get it. Due to societal conditioning, almost everyone considers high heels sexy. When I get dressed up for dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant, you can bet I\u2019m slipping on footwear that elongates my leg and makes my palazzo pants drape like a Renaissance artist\u2019s dream. I love my driving moccasins and Converse court shoes, but in our world, nothing says \u201celegance\u201d like a beautifully sculpted heel.<\/p>\n

And yet, there\u2019s one crucial thing we\u2019re forgetting about high heels. An issue that far transcends patriarchal concerns and aesthetic sentiments in matters of importance. In this blog entry, I\u2019ll be addressing the topic of high heels from an angle you may not have considered: the angle of emergency preparedness.<\/u><\/span><\/p>\n

Imagine this…<\/strong><\/h3>\n
\"Seismograph\"

Uh oh! It’s THE BIG ONE!<\/p><\/div>\n

It\u2019s an average Tuesday at the office. You\u2019re sitting in the weekly 10am budget meeting, surreptitiously texting your friend across the table and wishing you\u2019d remembered to reheat your cup of coffee before settling in for 60 minutes of spreadsheet torture. You shift in your seat, recross your legs underneath your stylish pencil skirt, and idly bounce your 3-inch \u201cpractical\u201d work pump on the edge of your toes. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Suddenly\u2026EARTHQUAKE! And not just a little bump-and-shudder, either. No, this is a big one. The whole team dives under the conference table and holds on as the shaking intensifies. Chunks of the ceiling rain down overhead, binders are jostled from the shelves lining the room, and streams of coffee dribble off the table edge as cups are overturned. Then\u2026silence. The shaking stops. You crawl from under the table, coughing from the dust. Your knees are already scraped from the bare skin of your exposed leg crunching against the debris on the floor. Everyone gets unsteadily to their feet. \u201cIs everyone okay?\u201d Numb nods all around. Wordlessly as a group, you move toward the door. A file cabinet has fallen across the entrance, forcing everyone to scramble over it. Your stylish pumps slip and slide across the metal surface. You want to take them off, but the windows of the conference room have shattered, leaving sharp glass fragments all over the floor. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>You lurch perilously down the hall, stumbling over every chunk of debris, every fallen object. At one point, your left pump catches on an unseen binder clip and you pitch sideways, your \u00bd-inch heel tip easily destabilized by the small piece of plastic. You twist your ankle and are forced to be half-carried by a coworker toward the building stairwell.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>Ten stories later, and you are on the ground, limping toward your building\u2019s emergency muster area. You were lucky that your good-Samaritan coworker was strong enough to get you down the stairwell; with your bum ankle, it would have been seriously slow going otherwise, and you might not have made it out before the earthquake aftershocks began. Rumor has it that half the office staff is still stuck in the building, and judging by the number of people in the muster area, that rumor looks to be true.<\/em><\/p>\n

You see what I mean? Sure, heels look sexy. And in some workplaces, they\u2019re considered de rigueur for women. But if the unforeseen occurs\u2014or hell, if you just need to hoof it from one meeting locale to another at a fast clip\u2014they are downright impractical, if not full-on foolish. In summary<\/strong>:<\/p>\n